Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize