Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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