well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
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i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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