the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
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slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
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I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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