I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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