I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize