So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize