Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize