You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize