Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My penis needs a shock collar
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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