Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize