Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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