How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize