he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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