I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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