420 ftw
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize