That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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