To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
can u get pink eye on your cock?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
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She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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