I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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