You're a womanizer and a bitch.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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