she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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