I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize