needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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