You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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