Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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