I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize