remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
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