You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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