Betty ford says i'm here all night
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize