I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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