One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize