You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
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Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
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I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize