Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize