You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you had me at cake vodka
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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