I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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