i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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