cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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