So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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