watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize