i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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