Non-Jews are for practice
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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