So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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