i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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