I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Life without a bra equals bliss.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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