My first STD was from a foam party
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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