i don't like sucking hair
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
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i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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