Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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