Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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