you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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