it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize